Challenged Hope

Grandmother raising Grandchildren with FASD in Hamilton Ontario Canada


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Compile an FASD Information File

Make life easier!

While raising grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I found compiling personal files for each grandchild helped when I reached out to service providers. In each file, I recorded my grandchildren’s medical appointments, diagnosis and results, attached school records such as reports and IEP’s, all school suspensions letters, their interactions with police, and sports/activity dates, etc. I also listed their strengths, what triggered their meltdowns, their behavior, and typical supports required. Files such as these take time to compile but offered me credibility in the eyes of professionals.

To read of the challenges and struggles I survived as a grandparent raising grandchildren with FAS, see my two ebook memoirs: Two Decades of Diapers, and, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years, at your Amazon store, or follow the links below.

Two Decades Of Diapers

Two Decades Of Diapers

Two Decades of Diapers. Genre/Memoir,

Ebook, Price .99 cents (usd), Ages 18+

Are you an individual with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, or a caregiver/support worker to an individual with FAS? Are you considering raising or fostering a child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Or are you a reader simply interested in the effects of mental disorders. If so, then for these, and many other reasons, Two Decades of Diapers is essential reading. During my twenty years of raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, the temptation to run from this often uncontrollable mental disorder and all the struggles it brought into our world, was significant. Despite my grandchildren’s strengths, their Fetal Alcohol Syndrome caused severe behavioral issues, eventually overwhelming my parenting abilities resulting in a breakdown of the family unit I had fought so hard to maintain. Offering an insight into the challenges of FAS, Two Decades of Diapers is a down-to earth, no holds barred reference to the struggles associated with mental disorders. In my memoir, I describe the challenges my adopted daughter with FAS endured, her teen pregnancy, how I became a grandmother raising grandchildren, and the crises, shattered dreams, and strength and love we share.

FAS: The Teen Years

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years. Genre/Memoir

Ebook, Price .99 cents (usd), Ages 18+

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years is the sequel to my first memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers. In each memoir, I give insight into how family life can be ruthlessly disrupted by behavior disorders caused by Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: a mental disorder caused by pre-natal exposure to alcohol. Through my wealth of experience with the disorder, I lead the reader through my desperation, fears, hopes, and prayers while coping with my grandchildren’s teen years. Nevertheless, I would be the first to admit that while FAS brought a whirlwind of emotions into my life, my grandchildren’s struggle to cope with the mental disorder far outweighs any trauma I have endured. Often labelled defiant, odious, caustic, and wayward, individuals with FAS are more victims of brain damage overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life, than the disposable people society deems them. If you are an individual considering adopting or fostering a child with FAS, a mental health worker, or someone who is interested in learning more about this distressing disorder, then Two Decades Of Diapers, and, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years are essential reading.

Both Two Decades of Diapers, and, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years are available from your Amazon store, or the following links:

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.kobo.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com


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Parents Beware!

I never thought it would happen to me!

Despite the few months I babysat a six-month old child being raised by his grandparents, as a young mother, the thought of one day having to raise my own grandchildren, never entered my mind,  In Canada, a growing number of grandparents are now parenting and raising their grandchildren. So much so, that it is time government officials raised their heads out of the sand regarding the ability of grandparents to do so. Not all grandparents have the energy to raise their grandchildren and, if the child has a mental or physical infirmity, it can be nigh on impossible. Though it appears in the best interest of the child to be placed with family, growing up with grandparents is not necessarily the optimum option.

Let grandparents be grandparents!

Too often, children’s agencies take advantage of grandparents when at their most emotionally vulnerable—i.e. when they learn their grandchild is in need of a home. There is a growing need for available foster homes where the child can be nurtured by young caregivers who have energy and use contemporary parenting strategies. Despite the propaganda, not every child placed in foster care is subject to abuse. My personal experience with foster parents has been very positive. There are many compassionate foster parents in Canada willing to give children the care they need and deserve.

Parents Beware!

Two Decades Of Diapers

Two Decades Of Diapers

FAS: The Teen Years

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years

So, parents of today, for various reasons, you might one day be faced with the decision to raise a grandchild. Life has a way of presenting us with disquieting choices that can change our lives forever. And if you believe it could never happen to you, read my two memoirs, Two Decades Of Diapers, and, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years, which describe my twenty years raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Both are available in ebook format from your Amazon store, the following links, and many other ebook distributors.

 

 


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Hallowe’en and FASD

Kids with FASD enjoy Hallowe’en, too!

FASD Pumpkin

The FASD Pumpkin: Remember some Trick or Treaters have mental difficulties

 

Hallowe’en and FASD

When you are handing out candies this Hallowe’en, please remember some trick or treaters might have FASD and be over-the-top exuberant. So to avoid turning ghosties or vampires into real-life monsters, please check out these tips.

  1. Many children with FASD have poor vision, so keep your porch and driveway well lit to avoid tumbles on your property.
  2. Avoid growing angry if a trick or treater pushes through the crowd for candy. Children with FASD don’t always understand rules of etiquette but are afraid of being left out.
  3. Over-exuberance can cause loud noises. But they are simply whoops of enjoyment from kids rarely involved in neighborhood events.
  4. Many children with FASD function lower than their chronological age, so if some “big kids” knock on your door, don’t panic. After all, it’s only one candy.
  5. Don’t put down kids costumes. Many caregivers of children with FASD encourage them to make their own costumes. So if a vampire has green blood, or Spiderman got confused with Superman, brush it aside.
  6. Hallowe’en is a fun night for kids with FASD as they don’t need an invitation. Unlike birthday parties, it’s for everyone, so don’t get mad if they don’t say please or thank you for the candy, or run across your lawn. When overly excited to be part of the crowd, they tend to forget their manners.

Hallowe’en and FASD: Remember, FASD is no laughing matter!

My Websites:

http://www.challengedhope.com

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

All my books are available at:

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.store.kobobooks.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Other fine ebook distributors

 


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FASD Marathon

Get Your Running Shoes On

Running An FASD Marathon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I once heard it said that raising children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is like running an FASD marathon. At the time, I wasn’t quite sure what the individual meant but, as my grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome progress through their teenage years, I now know exactly what it means:

  • RUN one step ahead of them. Know their moods. Recognize the onset of a meltdown.
  • EXPECT setbacks, but FORGE AHEAD.
  • Know this takes STAMINA and FOCUS and diminishes ENERGY.
  • PLAN A STRATEGY to prevent losing to their defiance.
  • Stay ON TRACK.
  • STAY HEALTHY so you can cope with the behaviors waiting to TRIP YOU UP.
  • Don’t FALL, never FAIL, NEVER GIVE UP.
  • KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE FINISH LINE; only when night falls can you say you WON.

You see, it is a marathon. So get on those sneakers and start running! I’m sure many caregivers of teens with FASD can come up with more tips on winning the FASD marathon. So, let’s hear them. Please leave a comment.

Please check out my memoir: Two Decades of Diapers, and my other books at:

 


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FASD Teens and Change in Routine

Teens with FASD struggle, just a much as youngsters with FASD, with change in daily routines, tasks, and unexpected schedules like: medical appointments, outings, bus trips, trips to the hairstylist or clothing stores; anything or anywhere which is not part of their everyday habits. One way to combat their stress and potential behaviour issues during such changes is to explain in advance what their week will look like and what will be involved via a chart posted to the fridge.

My teen grandchildren with mental disabilities always ask how long the appointment or errand will last but, as they have difficulty understanding time, I try to describe time in events, not hours, such as: “We will be back by lunch/supper/bed time.” For some reason, when they have the return time locked in, they are much more comfortable with the idea of going somewhere, or doing something unexpected which tells me just how much they see their home as a foundation of security and the outside world as an intimidating place. The assurance of the return to their home seems to be the deciding factor to their agreeing to the change in routine, and lessens the anxiety they might otherwise experience during an outside event.