Challenged Hope

Grandmother raising Grandchildren with FASD in Hamilton Ontario Canada


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FASD: Childhood Memories

Many children with FASD have fond memories of their childhoods.

Despite the challenges and struggles associated with parenting a child with FASD, the child will often remember their childhood with fondness. Despite the child’s complex behaviors involving meltdowns; screaming, and defiance, which the caregiver would rather forget, the child appears able to ignore the troubled times and recall happier moments.

For example, all four of my grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), who I parented from birth, are now teenagers. Their “do you remember when…” recollections include special family days at Port Dover, Wild Water Works, and Confederation Park. The play area at McDonald’s also holds fond memories, as does shopping at Walmart for new shoes, and toys at Christmas. Though I remember them being difficult to control during our outings, I’m pleased when their recollections include a portrayal of a happy me.

My two ebook memoirs on parenting grandchildren with FAS

are available at the following links, and many other ebook distributors.

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.kobo.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

 


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Danger of Pregnancy & Alcohol

Couples, please avoid alcohol during conception and pregnancy!

Wake up! to FAS

Wake up to issues associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Katie is a medical student enrolled in an Anatomy and Physiology class studying for her bachelor’s degree. She recently contacted me with information on avoiding alcohol during pregnancy. Katie explained that one of her goals is to share resources about having safe and healthy pregnancies before childbirth. She wanted to share her resource because it explores the dangers of consuming alcohol while pregnant that cause fetal alcohol syndrome.  I am happy to post Katie’s link on my FASD blog. To read her post in full, click the following link.

http://www.dwiminneapolislawyer.com/resources/drinking-alcohol-and-pregnancy/

If you would like to contact Katie for more information, please use the contact page on my blog, and I will forward your request on to Katie. Thank you, Katie, for reinforcing the dangers of drinking during conception and pregnancy.

 


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FASD Visual Aids

Using Visual Aids

While raising grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, visual aids helped them understand “what comes next.” Visual aids are especially helpful for morning and evening routines, such as getting ready for school, and preparing for bedtime.

What are visual aids?

Visual aids are usually pictures specifically created as reminders: toothbrush and paste, hairbrush, medication, pull-ups, clothing etc.; posted on a chart where the child will see them. Initially, and at frequent intervals, the child will require direction on how to apply each routine. Repeating each routine in easy-to-follow steps, until the child is confident to follow the picture prompts without help, is vital for success.

However, if your child with FASD is like my grandchildren with FASD, they might balk at the idea of having large poster-sized visual aids posted around the house, especially when friends come to visit. If so, flash cards showing routines can be effective and less invasive.

Example of Flash Cards

FASD flashcards

FASD flashcards

My FASD memoir links for

  • Two Decades Of Diapers
  • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, The Teen Years.

http://www.amazon.com/BarbaraStudham

https://www.kobo.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

 


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The Dreaded Wait List

Oh, the frustration!

When governments announce a new service to aid children with developmental disabilities, invariably the news quickly trickles down to caregivers overjoyed that “at last” someone has heard their pleas for support and acted accordingly.

The Dreaded Wait List

Trouble is, caregivers are often oblivious to the fact that the new service is bound to be underfunded, and therefore understaffed, causing long wait lists. Add to that, the fact that the child’s disability has to fit a long list of requirements to be eligible for the service, and that services cannot be “doubled-up” which means, should the child be receiving support from one agency, he cannot receive similar help from another. In addition, should an urgent case for the new resource surface, names on the non-urgent list are pushed down a space, making wait times even longer.

Oh, the frustration!

During my twenty years raising grandchildren with FAS, I learned not to hold my breath while waiting for services, especially where the Children’s Aid Society was concerned. Despite their frequent promises of support should I ever need it—which I often did—I was invariably brushed aside due to lack of funding, or told my requirements were outside of their service. Now, as my grandchildren approach adulthood, the DSO (Developmental Services Ontario) referrals for adult services come with guaranteed wait lists. Here we go, again!

FASD Pumpkin

The FASD Pumpkin: Remember some Trick or Treaters have mental challenges.

Be Patient!

Exercising patience while waiting for services is difficult, however, we can demonstrate patience toward all trick-or-treaters this Halloween by remembering there are children in our neighborhoods with developmental, physical, and mental disabilities, and act appropriately when they approach our doors. Despite my protests that my grandchildren are too old to knock on doors for candy, given their mental immaturity, they never outgrow Halloween, so I insist they at least dress the part, thereby giving householders a reason to hand over that much coveted chocolate bar. So, please, if you are approached by teens who you believe are well over the age of trick-or-treating, remember there could be an underlying health reason for their wanting to join in the neighborhood fun.

My author link: http://www.barbarastudham.com


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A Sofa Full Of Memories

A New Sofa, A New Era!

Today, I’m getting a new sofa. My old one is twenty-two years old, sagging, food stained, crumb-filled, and most likely a bit smelly. But, oh my gosh, does that couch hold memories! I purchased it way back in l993—one year before I bought a sweet, little, black and white kitten who eventually died at the old age of twenty; two years before I discovered my teenage daughter was pregnant; three years before I took custody of my eldest grandson; six years before I had custody of my next two grandchildren born eleven months apart, and nine years before I was granted custody of my youngest granddaughter.

A sofa full of memories!

That sofa has seen a lot of activity—it’s been jumped on, screamed on, napped on, had food spilled on, climbed on, been vomited on, drawn on, watched tv from, and been timed-out on. It has had baby’s diapers changed on, Christmas and Birthday gifts opened on, and tears shed on (mostly mine).  It’s been dusted, vacuumed, and washed umpteen times. It’s been moved around rooms and moved to another house. But it’s now so uncomfortable that I had to slide a piece of wood under the cushions so I wouldn’t sink down to the floor when I sit. Even visitors avoid it.

So, it lies, a sorry sight, out in the yard waiting to be picked up by the garbage collectors. How sad it looks, as if it knows it is no longer welcome in our home. And sadly, it isn’t.

A sofa full of memories!

I can’t wait for my new sofa to arrive! It’s like waiting for the New Year’s Eve disco ball to drop in Times Square, because a new couch means a new era in life—hopefully a happy one. And, even though, my grandchildren will destroy it little by little, it too will embrace our memories as I continue to raise my grandchildren, write blog posts and books, and advocate for those with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Its only consolation being, by the time it reaches twenty-two years of age, I will most likely not be around to replace it!

Some Of My Books

All available from

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.store.kobobooks.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Other fine ebook distributors


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Live Webinar on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

This just in from

Hamilton FASD Parent & Caregiver Support Group!

Copied from the website: www.hamiltonfasdsupport.ca

Join Us for a Free Live Webinar: 
The Powerful Truths of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders 
   

This free webinar, hosted and moderated by Mike Berry of the popular site Confessions of a Parent: Hope and Humor From the Trenches, will feature:

  • Mike and Kristin Berry, co-founders of confessionsofaparent.com and parents of two children with FASD.
  • Dr. Ira J. Chasnoff, award-winning author and professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Illinois School of Medicine in Chicago.
  • Gabe Chasnoff, Director/Producer of the acclaimed documentary film: Moment to Moment: Teens Growing Up with FASDs.
  •  John and Nicole Goerges, parents raising two children with FASD.

Live Webinar on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Details: October 1st, 2015 at 5pm PT/8pm ET

LEARN MORE and REGISTER NOW – IT’S FREE 

My Books

My Websites


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Event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival

Don’t Miss This Event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival  — Sunday September 13th 2015!

I will be attending this event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival, as publisher of my memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers, along with two friends and fellow authors, Viga Boland and Heather Lamb.

Come and meet us three, Barbara Studham, Viga Boland, and Heather Lamb at the event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival on Sunday, September 13th from noon to 6:00pm. We love to talk about our books, so don’t be shy. We didn’t write our books to rot in cartons in our basements—we WANT to share our life experiences. My memoir describes the twenty years I spent raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Viga wants the world to know that incest is rampant and shares her own mind-blowing experience with incest at the hands of her father. Heather spent thirty-five years working as a bookkeeper in a Hamilton, Ontario, car dealership and writes humorously on the antics and escapades of her colleagues and the staff.

To learn more about the Eden Mills Writers’ Festival, visit: http://www.edenmillswritersfestival.ca

Barbara Studham’s books are available from:

Viga Boland’s books are available from:

Heather Lamb’s new book, titled: This *#%$ing Car is a Lemon, will be available in 2016!