Challenged Hope

Grandmother raising Grandchildren with FASD in Hamilton Ontario Canada


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FASD Friendships

Understanding FASD friendships!

Many individuals with FASD find friendships complicated, perhaps more so than initially forming the friendship. Social protocol often stands between the individual and his/her friend, forming a barrier between the two. The complex behaviors associated with FASD can cause breakdowns in communication. As the individual often does not understand people’s need for personal space, they might stand too close or interrupt when the friend’s focus is elsewhere.

Wake up! to FAS

Wake up to issues associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

FASD Friendships

Supervision is vital during your child’s play. When with friends, it is important he/she is playing considerately, and enjoying playtime. Before the two meet up, parents of the children should communicate with each other. Knowing where the children are going helps with the decision of supervising. Remember, the longer the child with FASD plays, the more risky the situation becomes. Time opens the door to tiredness, feeling overwhelmed, and, if outside, other kids’ bullying. This usually leads to physical fights. The child with FASD becomes frustrated, and, knowing no other way, might lash out at the kids, goading them into a fight.

Role playing can also help the child with FASD. When the child is in a quiet, stable mood, invite a friend into your home. When your friend arrives, greet them accordingly. Teach your child how to react toward your friend. Role playing can also help your child understand and cope more adequately with stranger-danger.

Cue cards can also help. Play out stories and ask your child to point to the card that holds the key to his/her success. Praise them when correct, direct them calmly when they misunderstand. 

For more information on raising children with FAS, see my two memoirs: Two Decades of Diapers, and, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, The Teen Years, both available from your Amazon, the following links, and most ebook distributors. 

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.kobo.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

 

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FASD: Consider the Consequences

I didn’t mean to do it!

FASD 2016

FASD 2016. Speak Up, and make this year the last year for FASD.

Consider the Consequences. Individuals with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome don’t always realize that actions have consequences, nor learn easily from their mistakes. Mental disorders are tricky; often causing the individual to either disregard their safety, or not realize there is a safety issue to consider.

One example of this is when children with FAS grow into youths and learn they are not welcome within popular friendship circles. Desperate to form their own friendships, they are often taken advantage of by those who sense their despair. These individuals can be anyone: gang members, drug dealers, sexual predators, addicts, alcoholics; anyone who knows how to use vulnerable children.

The youth has no idea of the perpetrator’s intentions which are to have their selfish needs met. The youth is simply overjoyed to have friends who appear to care and will do anything to keep the friendship alive. Unfortunately, this often involves breaking the law and/or being sexually used, and abused.

Consider the Consequences. Over time, the youth becomes so ensconced in that way of life that any semblance of normality is discarded. Their “friends” encourage them to thumb their noses at the law, use illegal drugs, carry weapons, and do unnatural things to their bodies. The youth often ends up in jail, often for their own crimes but more likely through covering for the criminal acts of others.

Consider the Consequences. If you are pregnant, or are planning a pregnancy, please stop drinking alcohol now. It is the only defense against your child having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and possibly growing up to a life of crime, loneliness, and despair.

DOWNLOAD FREE from my website: www.twodecadesofdiapers.com: My two memoirs describing my twenty years raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Two Decades Of Diapers

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: The Teen Years

My Websites:

www.challengedhope.com

www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

Author, Barbara Studham's Collage of Books

See all of Barbara Studham’s books at http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com and http://www.amazon.com

 

See All My Books, memoir and fiction, available from:

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.store.kobobooks.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Other fine ebook distributors


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The Problem with Sensory Issues!

Sensory Issues associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Wake up! to FAS

Wake up to issues associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Sensory issues can be a real challenge for individuals with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. It’s not simply a case of the tee-shirt label irritating the skin; serious sensory issues run deep and often upset the person’s ability to complete daily tasks.

The Problem with Sensory Issues!

Hoarding is associated with sensory issues; though the hoarder is actually anything but. There is a misconception that hoarders love their possessions to a degree where they can’t let go and so begin storing and hoarding items long having lost use.

The Problem with Sensory Issues!

But my experience raising grandchildren with FAS has taught me otherwise. Hoarding comes from an intense distaste of touching used or unwashed items and so, instead of tossing the unwanted item as most people would, the individual avoids touching it, and it is left stored in their home.

The Problem with Sensory Issues!

The problem arises when the stored items become out of control. Items such as unwashed clothing, used food containers, newspapers, old furniture, etc. The build-up starts slowly and grows over years. Because hoarders are considered lazy, they don’t always get the help they need to get rid of their items, so the garbage fills the house and begins to smell. Only then is the problem recognized and the hoarder criticized for the problem, when all along, all it would have taken was for the so-called hoarder to be offered help for their sensory issues.

Two Decades Of Diapers

Barbara Studham’s memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers

The Problem with Sensory Issues!

Sensory issues are a large part of my grandchildren’s lives and often dictate their actions. Often misconstrued as defiance, sensory issues can mislead a caregiver into believing their child is refusing to clean their rooms, do laundry, or help with the dishes, but refusal comes from a difficulty in touching unclean items. Often seeing the remnants on a dirty dish or item of clothing as crawling bugs, the sensation of touching those items can leave the individual feeling nauseous. To read more on sensory issues, see my memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers, which describes my twenty years spent raising grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

All my books are available at:

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

Other fine eBook distributors

See all my Books!


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A Sofa Full Of Memories

A New Sofa, A New Era!

Today, I’m getting a new sofa. My old one is twenty-two years old, sagging, food stained, crumb-filled, and most likely a bit smelly. But, oh my gosh, does that couch hold memories! I purchased it way back in l993—one year before I bought a sweet, little, black and white kitten who eventually died at the old age of twenty; two years before I discovered my teenage daughter was pregnant; three years before I took custody of my eldest grandson; six years before I had custody of my next two grandchildren born eleven months apart, and nine years before I was granted custody of my youngest granddaughter.

A sofa full of memories!

That sofa has seen a lot of activity—it’s been jumped on, screamed on, napped on, had food spilled on, climbed on, been vomited on, drawn on, watched tv from, and been timed-out on. It has had baby’s diapers changed on, Christmas and Birthday gifts opened on, and tears shed on (mostly mine).  It’s been dusted, vacuumed, and washed umpteen times. It’s been moved around rooms and moved to another house. But it’s now so uncomfortable that I had to slide a piece of wood under the cushions so I wouldn’t sink down to the floor when I sit. Even visitors avoid it.

So, it lies, a sorry sight, out in the yard waiting to be picked up by the garbage collectors. How sad it looks, as if it knows it is no longer welcome in our home. And sadly, it isn’t.

A sofa full of memories!

I can’t wait for my new sofa to arrive! It’s like waiting for the New Year’s Eve disco ball to drop in Times Square, because a new couch means a new era in life—hopefully a happy one. And, even though, my grandchildren will destroy it little by little, it too will embrace our memories as I continue to raise my grandchildren, write blog posts and books, and advocate for those with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Its only consolation being, by the time it reaches twenty-two years of age, I will most likely not be around to replace it!

Some Of My Books

All available from

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.store.kobobooks.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Other fine ebook distributors


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One way to promote FASD Day!

Memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers at Eden Mills book fair.

Promoting FASD awareness. 

One way to promote FASD Day!

In my previous post: FASD Day, September 9th, I lamented the fact I had no time nor money to promote FASD Day. Now, I have thought of a way! And while the actual day is past, as a grandma raising grandchildren with FAS, every day is FASD day, so here is my promotion.

Eden Mills: Sunday September 13th, 2015, noon-6:00pm.

This Sunday, September 13th, from noon-6:00pm, I will be at Eden Mills Writers’ Festival book fair, offering my memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers for sale. It describes the twenty years I spent raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. My memoir is written in three parts. Part One describes my adoption of a baby girl with FAS, Part Two expresses the difficulties and challenges I faced during the years raising her, plus her subsequent teenage pregnancies. Part Three focuses on how I became my grandchildren’s primary caregiver and the overwhelming trials I faced for the next two decades while raising grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

So, what’s the promotion, you ask. Well, my memoir in paperback format retails for $15.99, but on Sunday, September 13th, 2015, noon-6:00 pm only, I will be offering my printed memoir for only $5. This easy price gives everyone the opportunity to learn more about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, thereby promoting its awareness!

Yes, you read it correctly!

My memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers will be available for only $5 at the Eden Mills Writers’ Festival on Sunday, September 13th 2015. So take advantage of this low price to buy a copy and become aware of FASD and the effect it reaps on families, and individuals.

See you there!

All books available from:

http://www.twodecadesofdiapers.com

http://www.amazon.com/author/barbarastudham

https://www.store.kobobooks.com

http://www.barnesandnoble.com

Other fine ebook distributors


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Event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival

Don’t Miss This Event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival  — Sunday September 13th 2015!

I will be attending this event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival, as publisher of my memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers, along with two friends and fellow authors, Viga Boland and Heather Lamb.

Come and meet us three, Barbara Studham, Viga Boland, and Heather Lamb at the event: Eden Mills Writers’ Festival on Sunday, September 13th from noon to 6:00pm. We love to talk about our books, so don’t be shy. We didn’t write our books to rot in cartons in our basements—we WANT to share our life experiences. My memoir describes the twenty years I spent raising four grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Viga wants the world to know that incest is rampant and shares her own mind-blowing experience with incest at the hands of her father. Heather spent thirty-five years working as a bookkeeper in a Hamilton, Ontario, car dealership and writes humorously on the antics and escapades of her colleagues and the staff.

To learn more about the Eden Mills Writers’ Festival, visit: http://www.edenmillswritersfestival.ca

Barbara Studham’s books are available from:

Viga Boland’s books are available from:

Heather Lamb’s new book, titled: This *#%$ing Car is a Lemon, will be available in 2016!

 


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FASD: Diagnosis

Obtaining a diagnosis of FASD can be extremely difficult, often frustrating parents who recognize the signs and symptoms in their child. But a confirmed diagnosis can open the door to vital services without which the child runs the risk of becoming a homeless or incarcerated adult. I cringe on hearing that children/adults with a confirmed diagnosis of FASD are embarrassed over their diagnosis. Due to stigma attached to mental illness, their decision to never mention their disorder is understandable but can limit services they deserve and cause chaos in their future.

Accepting and supporting mental illness is the first step to removing boundaries between those who struggle with mental illness and those who don’t. Communities must start listening to caregivers, support workers, advocates and, most of all, the individuals affected by FASD who should never feel pressured to hide their diagnosis in order not to offend the sensibilities of others. We are all in this together.

My memoir: Two Decades Of Diapers describes my twenty years raising grandchildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Available in paperback and ebook from:

Also available in ebook format from: